Week 12 Cleave unto Your Spouse

     

 In a BYU Conference Address in 2008, Richard B Miller, gave some wonderful direction in leadership in families.  They are as follows.

1. Parents are the leaders in the family.

2. Parents must be united in their leadership.

3. The parent-child hierarchy dissolves when children become adults.

4. The marital relationship should be a partnership.

            a. Husbands and wives are equal

            b. Husbands and wives have different responsibilities, but they function as equals

            c. Husband’s role as patriarch gives him the responsibility to serve his wife and family

            d. Husbands and wives work together as partners

        He had some really great quotes about adult children and their functions in the family.  He quotes Spencer W. Kimball as saying , “Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers, and their chums. Sometimes, mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others… Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever, you cherish their counsel, you appreciate their association, but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it (Spencer W. Kimball, March 1977 Ensign, pp. 4, 5).

            As I have adult children and one on the way to becoming married, I found this bit of advice very useful.  It is hard to let go of your child.  It is so easy for the child to let go most times.  We must understand that the Lord wants it this way.  Our children need to cleave unto their own spouses and we should not interfere.

             I’m getting old enough where my children are trying to tell me how I should live my life.  I do not appreciate it.  I am sure they would not appreciate me telling them how to live their lives with their spouse and children.  It is so great that we have prayer and revelation given to us from the Lord so that when we go to make those decisions for our own families, that we are guided in making those righteous decisions.